Sorry about the shitty text posts I just can’t stop thinking tonight.
Also I don’t feel like I have enough energy anymore.
So I make half-assed attempts at recovery, and I end up going nowhere
Or. I make up excuses as to why I don’t deserve to get better, and I don’t even try.
I just want to be happy…
But at the same time I feel like I don’t deserve it. So I sabotage myself every time I feel like I have a chance.
My hatred for myself outweighs my longing for happiness and stability. Always.